Paring down social media means letting go of Facebook and losing my page.

Toxic place, people rant, spewing rage and Fake News.

So, I’m here now. One of the Nine Lives of Khawaga Kid.

In this life, I was a young wife and mother. Turned out I left the secret of life behind closed doors with an abusive father to live behind a different closed door with my husband and young sons.

We were “Church People”, (there every time the doors were open, but that’s another story) we were there for every service and function. Back at home behind our closed door, I was verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abused. I never fought back because of my babies, but when he came up behind me while I was washing dishes and held my head underwater, then out, then back under until I thought, so this is how I die? Drowned in my dishwater, hearing the cries of my children?

I got away that day…that night, I knew how I would kill him. I had it all planned, but I knew I would never get away with it and our sons would lose both parents.

I left him instead and the last words I heard him speak were these, “I’ll take those boys from you because it’s the last thing I can do to hurt you.” When I finally let him have them “for the weekend,” he moved out of state with them. We had no court ordered arrangements, so when we went to the Sheriff’s Department in the state he took them to, they told us that possession is 90 percent of the law, I couldn’t believe it.

Then it got worse. He filed for divorce by publication in the tiny newspaper of the tiny town we lived in together with our children, knowing I now lived back in our hometown. So, because I didn’t respond, he got us divorced and was granted full custody of our sons on grounds of desertion.

He did it, then he became a preacher and still abusive, but leave that at the door of the church, and he will pick it up on the way out.,.

July 7, 2018 was a 👍 good 😊 day, but that night, I heard his voice through my laptop, reaching across years and miles, back in my head in the safest 🏡 home I ever had. I listened in disbelief, as two preachers trashed me on Facebook and YouTube.

I fought back by becoming Shadow Woman and I write and speak for all who hide in the shadows because of Domestic Violence.

How could they believe in the same God I did? I asked God and I really needed an answer because I didn’t think it was possible that these two “preachers” were serving my God. Well, early in the morning on July 8, I got my answer. The still, small voice that calmed me from the inside out… “Don’t worry about their relationship with Me, that’s not your business. Work on your own relationship with Me.”

Shadow Woman Writer. This is the warrior and teacher within me, sharing my story “for free” “for real” because Peace on Earth is priceless and remember the ripple effect, the butterfly effect. A tiny stone cast into water creates ripples that reach and widen. One solitary butterfly with fragile wings fluttering changes the air. These words I share to reach people that need them.