Shadow Woman ✍️ Writer

Paring down social media means letting go of Facebook and losing my page.

Toxic place, people rant, spewing rage and Fake News.

So, I’m here now. One of the Nine Lives of Khawaga Kid.

In this life, I was a young wife and mother. Turned out I left the secret of life behind closed doors with an abusive father to live behind a different closed door with my husband and young sons.

We were “Church People”, (there every time the doors were open, but that’s another story) we were there for every service and function. Back at home behind our closed door, I was verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abused. I never fought back because of my babies, but when he came up behind me while I was washing dishes and held my head underwater, then out, then back under until I thought, so this is how I die? Drowned in my dishwater, hearing the cries of my children?

I got away that day…that night, I knew how I would kill him. I had it all planned, but I knew I would never get away with it and our sons would lose both parents.

I left him instead and the last words I heard him speak were these, “I’ll take those boys from you because it’s the last thing I can do to hurt you.” When I finally let him have them “for the weekend,” he moved out of state with them. We had no court ordered arrangements, so when we went to the Sheriff’s Department in the state he took them to, they told us that possession is 90 percent of the law, I couldn’t believe it.

Then it got worse. He filed for divorce by publication in the tiny newspaper of the tiny town we lived in together with our children, knowing I now lived back in our hometown. So, because I didn’t respond, he got us divorced and was granted full custody of our sons on grounds of desertion.

What??? She doesn’t live there any more???

He did it, then he became a preacher and still abusive, but leave that at the door of the church, and he will pick it up on the way out.,.

July 7, 2018 was a 👍 good 😊 day, but that night, I heard his voice through my laptop, reaching across years and miles, back in my head in the safest 🏡 home I ever had. I listened in disbelief, as two preachers trashed me on Facebook and YouTube.

I fought back by becoming Shadow Woman and I write and speak for all who hide in the shadows because of Domestic Violence.

How could they believe in the same God I did? I asked God and I really needed an answer because I didn’t think it was possible that these two “preachers” were serving my God. Well, early in the morning on July 8, I got my answer. The still, small voice that calmed me from the inside out… “Don’t worry about their relationship with Me, that’s not your business. Work on your own relationship with Me.”

Shadow Woman Writer. This is the warrior and teacher within me, sharing my story “for free” “for real” because Peace on Earth is priceless and remember the ripple effect, the butterfly effect. A tiny stone cast into water creates ripples that reach and widen. One solitary butterfly with fragile wings fluttering changes the air. These words I share to reach people that need them.

“Tell Me A Story.”

Long ago, in our childhood, my younger sister would say this to me as we tried to fall asleep at night. Our life behind closed doors was far from the perfect family facade we were coerced into living for an abusive father.

My sister died on July 17, 1995. She had been in a coma since her car lost control in a curve in the early morning hours of July 15, 1984. Not wearing her seatbelt, she was thrown from her car and her head hit a utility pole.

I saw her there, in ICU, my beautiful golden haired, blue-eyed sister. From birth to graduation, people called her “Doll.” Beautiful inside and out, smart and funny. Now she lies in her bed, fingernails and toenails perfectly polished.

She’s on life support, the front side of her hair shaved and the stitches mark the place where they removed part of her skull as her brain swelled. One cut on her chin that didn’t even require stitches is her only other injury.

“Tell Me A Story.” I hear her say this to me in a whisper all these decades later. My pen now whispers across pages, notebooks filled with pages of all the words. So, though I haven’t been able to do her justice, I will not give up.

Dearest of sisters, my Sidekick through life, I haven’t given up, I’ve only been side-tracked by that man we used to call Daddy. He’s proven his worthlessness and I delete him for his depravity.

I remember how we huddled together, laughing silently as I told you stories making the real monster raging in another room into a comical coward, one we could blow away when we synchronized our breath.

For My Sister

Caught in the Web


I took this picture of rain droplets caught in a spider web, but Rico Mack was caught in the World Wide Web.

Oh, he likes people to see his facade, the public perfect family persona, he only has a problem with me, his oldest kid, Khaki Mack. I am part of the(fictional) public, so what he chooses to make public includes me. I know too much and he can’t control me with fear, or threats, or lies, or lawsuits.

Finally, I see the finish line and I run across it, beating him with truth. He is a bad liar and a sore loser, and me? I’m ready for a new race, a new story. Tired of the same track and the same loser trying to beat me.

When this is over, my blog might take shape and maybe I’ll sleep. Maybe I’ll finally be free of his life of lies.

Dear Hubby,

I’ll take one of each. Please. And thank you. ❣👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇🥰

Dream Job? Writers Wanted! Your “voice” is unique. Use it or lose it. I am a Warrior Woman, a Write Fighter.

I Heard Him Say, “Follow Me.”

When God gives me My Daily Med

A dose of His Word and time with Him. That is My Daily Med.  This morning, before My Daily Med, I went on Social Media to “connect”.

I went on one, where I have friends. “I’ll be your Friend” He said.

I flew to another where there are followers. “Follow Me” He said.

So, I opened my Bible and this is what I read.

An old My Daily Med–this morning I needed a reminder.


“FOLLOWING JESUS and living according to God’s ways is often contrary to the world’s values. A righteous life can be very unpopular in today’s culture…it’s how we’re called to live. When Jesus said, ‘Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (Mt. 5:10), He acknowledged we’d pay a price for our obedience and right desires…He encourages us to a sure hope, the promise of the priceless future that awaits…bring your Savior any pain you feel because of wrongful treatment…in His presence, earthly troubles fade and the assurance of Heaven becomes very real.”

Now is your time to enter into His service–no longer as His orphaned baby girl, but as His woman. He has loosed you so that you might loose others in His name.

I follow Him. I make a plan, He changes it, like My Daily Med this morning…He wanted me to read the above message first. I follow His lead.


My mission is to share with people from every walk of life the truth of the devastating effects of coercive control. AWARENESS.

As I hear His voice, I will share it to EDUCATE anyone and everyone on how to be free of coercive control.

PREVENTION of coercive control can increase when these abusers face

PROSECUTION for their calculated pattern of abusive behavior through sometimes unlawful means.