Fireworks in My Head

I saw stars

Bright Light

Explosion

Flashback

July Fourth

Freedom?

Fighting

Fifty-four years

Flash!

Slapped

Bang!

Head knocked

Counter blow

How far will he go?

I never know

Then I wake

Curled in a ball

Sweating

One day

I’ll be free

Red, white & blue

Pretty fireworks

Purple & blue

Flesh healed

Psyche bruised

But healing

Writing my way to

Freedom

Living in the safest home I ever had with my husband. 2012 I began to heal. I had to get sober first and I am still a work in progress. Even my bad days now are better than my good days then.

Kabtn Khawaga in The Evil Eye

Kabtn Khawaga’s Khawaga Kid was not being cooperative AT ALL! Here she is, in his carefully constructed house of cards in Alexandria, Egypt. She is still telling the truth??? WORSE!!!

His carefully groomed young Egyptian wife is hearing and questioning his carefully edited and reconstructed past.

WHAT TO DO??? WHAT TO DO??? Oh well, nothing for it, he’ll just have to stay home and supervise. Divide and conquer, no more conversations that he misses while working; too much to lose. YEAH, take them on a cruise; keep Diva close and give his damn Khawaga Kid her own room.

Khawaga Kid is used to his tactics, she’s been through it twice before with stepmother one and stepmother two. Ohhhh, Diva believes him. She’s watching Khawaga Kid like I’m a fox among the pigeons, her face guarded, not affectionate and friendly like it was before he started gaslighting me.

HARAM is the next word Diva teaches Khawaga Kid. Forbidden to be jealous or wish harm to others with the evil eye. Mission accomplished by Kabtn Khawaga the seeds of distrust with his artful deception have been sown in Diva’s heart. I feel the distance, knew he would do it.

Kabtn Khawaga has a different approach with his Khawaga Kid. He “confides” in her how insecure Diva is and how bitchy and mistrustful she can be because her family called her, *gulp* *gasp* *oh horrors* UGLY. This is the worst that could ever happen to anyone! Kabtn Khawaga’s motto is, “Appearance is everything.”

Narcissists can be amusing in their blind devotion to self. EXCEPT for their serial abuse, coercive control and just plain TOXIC personalities.

Fertile Ground

Planting New Ideas
Allowing Space for Growth

Fertile Ground

Not a battleground

I stand my ground

A new sound

Buzzes around

Silence

No fists pound

My flesh

They frowned

I cringed

Wings singed

By Friendly Fire

I fly

Aboveground

Not buried

Underground

Circle round

Unbroken

Words spoken

New ground broken

Planting seeds

Of freedom

In Motion

1. Survive 2. Thrive 3. Flourish

WHAT IS COERCIVE CONTROL?

Perpetrators of coercive control are domestic violence abusers who resort to illegal acts in order to further abuse their victim.

Coercive Control is all about power for the perpetrator. They will use emotional, mental, financial, verbal, and physical abuse. Criminalizing coercive control in the most egregious deadbeat parent cases is necessary because these perps enjoy wreaking havoc. They will destroy lives without mercy.

Coercive control is a callous and calculated pattern of behavior by the perpetrator. Criminal acts perpetrated by someone with malicious intent on innocent victims should be held accountable for their actions in Court.

Seasoning My Life

Subtlety is Key

My only rule is don’t be bland. I love the spice of life! Some days I feel cool like a vanilla bean in ice cream. Other days I am comforting like pot roast and potatoes with carrots, onions, garlic and bay leaves. In every recipe of days, I don’t divulge all my secrets. Every creator worth her salt keeps secrets.

I have days when I feel like a delicious pot of gumbo; a layered goodness that begins with a simple roux…just flour and oil mixed to the perfect consistency, stirred patiently over a steady heat until the moment is right. (You know to add the stock of your choice with the color of the paste and at the first whiff of burnt peanuts.) Trial and error is the way you learn to make your roux. Next the Holy Trinity of Cajun cooking gets thrown in the pot…onions, celery and bell pepper, chopped to your personal preference. Add freshly diced tomatoes, (or canned) and fresh sliced okra, (or frozen). I always boil a whole chicken for my stock, then take meat from the bone and add to pot. This is good, but adding deveined shrimp, whole crab, or lump crab meat, crawfish, redfish…any combination that appeals to you. A sausage gumbo is good if you use a good link sausage. In my neck of the woods, that’s Conecuh link sausage. Experiment with this as all cooks do and yes, I have secret ingredients I add too. It takes time to cook this and serve it over rice. Yep. I feel like a gumbo some days, complicated and time consuming, but delicious and worth the effort.

Seasoning my life…expanded by many cultural cuisines learned by traveling the world as a third culture kid. I can be anything but bland. Never. Ever. Bland